*Rumour round up Italian style. Warning…This will feel a little like the national inquirer at times*

Let’s start with the stranieri rumours…

So Manchester City and Arsenal want Mario Balotelli. That’s what the good people at The Sun are saying , but then again they say a lot of things…

 Arsenal won’t pay a crazy price but like Balotelli nonetheless…Arsène’s Arsenal are also after Palermo’s Abel Hernandez and Catania’s Mr. Morimoto says The News of The World…also Angelina Jolie has adopted Fabio Liverani…

Real, Man City, Juve, Inter, Man United & Liverpool are after either/or Juan Manuel Vargas & Sebastian Frey valued around 20 Million each…

 …you can mix and match the above clubs however you like but Man United only spoke of Frey…If Fiorentina do go all Revolution on their own asses -with all this Prandelli/Della Valle squabble – 9 different sources are talking about ;

 Royston Drenthe if Real Madrid pick up Vargas or Frey then Cristian Llama, Cristian Ledesma, Alexander Kolarov and Andrea Mantovani with Emiliano Viviano mentioned as a Frey replacement…Prandelli would be replaced by Allegri, Giampaolo, Delneri or Conan O’brien.

Up north, Milan are looking at Franco Ivorian defender Guy Demel, from Hamburg  Werder Bremen’s Claudio Pizarro…and Dzeko of course…Mario Yepes is seemingly coming in for free to try the famous Milan Lab rejuvenation machine

…Flamengo are inquiring about Ronaldinho…Pato to Chelsea for 80 Million, Kaladze is leaving but Rafael Toloi is on his way in…Berlusconi did not have his face smashed or cock photographed by the press this week…

 Juventus are going after Gilardino, Cavani  and Kevin Kuranyi to replace Trezeguet… contending on the  Fabregas  front with Inter & Barça…if they can sell Diego to either Athletico Madrid or Lyon who have ”offered” 24 Million…or maybe Felipe Melo for too much money again…Melo has been linked with Arsenal…

Inter are linked with everyone and Fabregas…Real Madrid want Maicon says AS…They also need a coach soon

Lazio going after Humberto Suazo…Maybe looking at Koln’s Pedro Geromel and Philippe Senderos…Zarate is leaving for Spain, The Premiership or wherever pay more money land is. Kolarov is wanted by everyone…

Roma…funny how a scudetto push squashes a lot of rumours… Burdisso probably won’t go back to Inter, Menez is no longer linked with Mother Russia, William Gallas won’t come, links to Cassani, Simplicio, Clerc, Govou and Masiello. Bayern want to include Doni andor Mexes in Luca Toni deal

Mexes is wanted by Juve, Liverpool, Milan, Bayern as well as your mothers and daughters.

Oh and Bayern want Gargano…Napoli are going to sign Boriello because – He’s Napoletano – says Bigon…Napoli want to plunder Sampdoria by taking Palombo and Pazzini… looking at Darryl Goulon on the Le Mans Parametro Zero front. Cluj’s Lacina Traoré and Fluminense’s Fred are the alternatives if ever Pazzini or Boriello don’t come, you know, to replace German Denis….

And now for the even crazier

 Kjaer to Juve for Amauri + Money ?

Benitez to Juve with Mascherano and Fernando Torres following or Prandelli or Felix Magath now Roberto Mancini 

 Bayern is offering Ribery for Buffon. Manchester City is offering Dubai. Jorge Martinez and Stefano Poli to Man City also

Stefan Jovetic and Juan Vargas to Real Madrid for 53 Million Euros

Mourinho will move to Manchester City or Real Madrid while Benitez will go to Inter and Juventus will get Roberto Mancini and Leonardo will leave Milan if they don’t pick up Dzeko this summer…and Jay Leno wants Alex Ferguson’s job.

Philippe Mexes to Juve for Cash bringing in Fabio Cannavaro for cheap. Roma will then spend that cash on Luca Toni, Burdisso and Andrea Barzagli.

And my favourite ;  Juve buy back their half of Palladino by forfeiting their half of Criscito , then Criscito is sent to Inter with Ranocchia, brought back from Bari with Bonucci who goes to Juventus while Genoa get Rene Khrin and Sebastian Giovinco on loan while the Marassi pitch needs to be covered in gold or something

Sicily has been conquered so many times in its history that even Genghis Khan can’t keep count. The Capital, Palermo , has seen so many invasions that only Jerusalem and Ho Chi Minh City could understand. Probably explains why Palermitani are hardcore people and they probably invented the ”never say die ” attitude by pure necessity. This Sicilian style of life has clearly rubbed off on Palermo’s Calcio squad.

Now in 2010, it’s time for Palermo to start conquering Europe on the football field. The Rosanero’s play so far this season has kept them in the hunt for 4th place in Serie A. But before the boys in pink can go show off in the Champions League they’ll have to fight off another invasion ; Big European chequebooks are preparing an assault on Palermo’s many footballing treasures.

The Rosanero have a young squad full of talent. Palermo’s borderline psychotic president Maurizio Zamparini is smart with his transfer budget. Buying young, relatively unknown, high potential talent and developing them into solid Serie A players or better like Simon Kjaer from Midtjylland of Denmark for 4M € and the young Uruguayans Cavani (8-9?) and Abel Hernandez (3.7 M €). Add to that Javier Pastore who probably has close to doubled his 8 M € fee and semi-homegrown Salvatore Sirigu, Andrea Raggi being the exception to the rule.

However, Palermo have just about finished paying their Calcio dues and want Europe to take notice. To do so, the Rosanero know they need to keep the core of their roster intact to turn this 4th spot into a perennial happening.

Zamparini spoke to the media today reiterating his desire to keep his squad intact ;

” I’ll do everything in my power to keep our best players here, especially Cavani and Kjaer. It’s relatively easy to convince them to stay when they are young but when they become mature and strong it becomes harder.

Kjaer is such an important player for us. I’d buy him again just to not make him go away but there’s always a few Big European clubs willing to invest big\stupid money.”

Palermo aren’t scared to cash in when the time\money seems right. Luca Toni to Fiorentina for Molto Euros and Fabio Grosso to Inter for around 7-8 M €. Simone Barone to Torino for too much money and the package deal Andrea Barzagli and Cristian Zaccardo sent to Wolfsburg for 20 M € while Amauri amounted to about 13 M €, Antonio Nocerino and 50% of Davide Lanzafame.

It’s no secret Abel Hernandez and Javier Pastore are attracting a lot of interest. Arsenal are inquiring about Hernandez while Milan and Inter are asking Zamparini if they can ”option” the young midfielder for the future. Edison Cavani’s name has always bounced around the mercato pages in the past but if ever Palermo decided to kill off a lamb Simon Kjaer will likely be sacrificed.

England’s fetish with Nordic Scandinavians is no secret. Half the squads in the Premiership have been courting Mr. Kjaer. Both Manchester outfits are interested while Tottenham’s been sending awkward mix tapes on a weekly basis since early 2009. However, Kjaer, who’ll turn 21 later this month, really likes the Beatles but not in an Everton kind of way ;

“I will take a step towards the dream or I will stay in Palermo. I would prefer to have it sorted out before the World Cup. I am ready for a new challenge, but is has to be an attractive club.

The Premier League is the best league in the world and then there is Barcelona and Real Madrid in Spain.

England and the physical playing style would probably suit me better. In case the right offers come, it would be exciting to form a partnership with Daniel Agger at Liverpool”

Danish football fans would love nothing more to see a Kjaer\Agger duo at Anfield Road 

The bleach blonde defender seemingly has a 12 Million buy out clause which would mean an 8 Million profit in 2 years ! Pretty decent but I’m sure Zamparini will manage to squeeze some more pounds out of a Premiership auction. Even if Kjaer would like his future to be decided pre – South Africa, Palermo will calmly wait in the sun sucking a lemonade in the hopes of seeing Denmark do well enough in the World Cup to drive Kjaer’s price even higher.

So when\if Kjaer moves to the Premiership how long before English commentators start calling him the Big Great Dane ?

There were 19 goals scored this week in Serie A, with two games finishing 0-0 (Siena-Napoli and Inter-Samp). Antonio Di Natale didn’t score, and neither did Diego Milito, so Di Natale is still at the top of the scoring chart with 17 goals and Milito following with 14. Giampaolo Pazzini remains at 12 while Alessandro Matri scored and improves to 11 goals, his highest tally in his career so far. Alberto Gilardino ended his long goal drought with a goal vs. Livorno, improving to 10 on the season. Antonio Busce’ scored his first Serie A goal in 2 years for Bologna over the weekend, and Nelson Rivas scored his first goal in Serie A since arriving in Italy in 2007. Goals after the jump.

Marco Borriello vs. Bari – Borriello scores his 3rd scissor kick goal of the season with his deadly left foot. Lippi’s assistant was at the game, maybe a national team call-up?

Juan Manuel Vargas vs. Livorno – Vargas scores the equalizer vs. Livorno with this scorching shot with his left foot. The bad video doesn’t do it justice.

Abel Hernandez vs. Lazio – The young Uruguayan scored after 60 seconds with this excellent trap of the long ball and finish.

Aleksander Kolarov vs. Palermo – We all know the Serbian’s left foot capabilities and he shows them here.

Mirko Vucinic vs. Catania – Vucinic does great to anticipate his marker on the corner kick and hit it first time on the volley.