*Rumour round up Italian style. Warning…This will feel a little like the national inquirer at times*

Let’s start with the stranieri rumours…

So Manchester City and Arsenal want Mario Balotelli. That’s what the good people at The Sun are saying , but then again they say a lot of things…

 Arsenal won’t pay a crazy price but like Balotelli nonetheless…Arsène’s Arsenal are also after Palermo’s Abel Hernandez and Catania’s Mr. Morimoto says The News of The World…also Angelina Jolie has adopted Fabio Liverani…

Real, Man City, Juve, Inter, Man United & Liverpool are after either/or Juan Manuel Vargas & Sebastian Frey valued around 20 Million each…

 …you can mix and match the above clubs however you like but Man United only spoke of Frey…If Fiorentina do go all Revolution on their own asses -with all this Prandelli/Della Valle squabble – 9 different sources are talking about ;

 Royston Drenthe if Real Madrid pick up Vargas or Frey then Cristian Llama, Cristian Ledesma, Alexander Kolarov and Andrea Mantovani with Emiliano Viviano mentioned as a Frey replacement…Prandelli would be replaced by Allegri, Giampaolo, Delneri or Conan O’brien.

Up north, Milan are looking at Franco Ivorian defender Guy Demel, from Hamburg  Werder Bremen’s Claudio Pizarro…and Dzeko of course…Mario Yepes is seemingly coming in for free to try the famous Milan Lab rejuvenation machine

…Flamengo are inquiring about Ronaldinho…Pato to Chelsea for 80 Million, Kaladze is leaving but Rafael Toloi is on his way in…Berlusconi did not have his face smashed or cock photographed by the press this week…

 Juventus are going after Gilardino, Cavani  and Kevin Kuranyi to replace Trezeguet… contending on the  Fabregas  front with Inter & Barça…if they can sell Diego to either Athletico Madrid or Lyon who have ”offered” 24 Million…or maybe Felipe Melo for too much money again…Melo has been linked with Arsenal…

Inter are linked with everyone and Fabregas…Real Madrid want Maicon says AS…They also need a coach soon

Lazio going after Humberto Suazo…Maybe looking at Koln’s Pedro Geromel and Philippe Senderos…Zarate is leaving for Spain, The Premiership or wherever pay more money land is. Kolarov is wanted by everyone…

Roma…funny how a scudetto push squashes a lot of rumours… Burdisso probably won’t go back to Inter, Menez is no longer linked with Mother Russia, William Gallas won’t come, links to Cassani, Simplicio, Clerc, Govou and Masiello. Bayern want to include Doni andor Mexes in Luca Toni deal

Mexes is wanted by Juve, Liverpool, Milan, Bayern as well as your mothers and daughters.

Oh and Bayern want Gargano…Napoli are going to sign Boriello because – He’s Napoletano – says Bigon…Napoli want to plunder Sampdoria by taking Palombo and Pazzini… looking at Darryl Goulon on the Le Mans Parametro Zero front. Cluj’s Lacina Traoré and Fluminense’s Fred are the alternatives if ever Pazzini or Boriello don’t come, you know, to replace German Denis….

And now for the even crazier

 Kjaer to Juve for Amauri + Money ?

Benitez to Juve with Mascherano and Fernando Torres following or Prandelli or Felix Magath now Roberto Mancini 

 Bayern is offering Ribery for Buffon. Manchester City is offering Dubai. Jorge Martinez and Stefano Poli to Man City also

Stefan Jovetic and Juan Vargas to Real Madrid for 53 Million Euros

Mourinho will move to Manchester City or Real Madrid while Benitez will go to Inter and Juventus will get Roberto Mancini and Leonardo will leave Milan if they don’t pick up Dzeko this summer…and Jay Leno wants Alex Ferguson’s job.

Philippe Mexes to Juve for Cash bringing in Fabio Cannavaro for cheap. Roma will then spend that cash on Luca Toni, Burdisso and Andrea Barzagli.

And my favourite ;  Juve buy back their half of Palladino by forfeiting their half of Criscito , then Criscito is sent to Inter with Ranocchia, brought back from Bari with Bonucci who goes to Juventus while Genoa get Rene Khrin and Sebastian Giovinco on loan while the Marassi pitch needs to be covered in gold or something

The success of players like Alexander Kolarov, Marek Hamsik, Stevan Jovetic and Mirko Vucinic has inspired many Serie A teams to take a longer look when going East on scouting trips. Nothing new as Italian squads have long been scouring the ex-USSR like an arms traficant in 1991-92.

Here are the most recent findings :

After Palermo picked up, 19 year old Georgian Levan Michedlidze this summer now it’s Sampdoria and Fiorentina getting in the mix of things.

Fiorentina have snagged Serbian starlet, Adem Ljajic from Partizan Belgrade. The formalities concerning his move from the Serbian Champions are done, having passed the medical with the Italian side. In the meantime, Stevan Jovetic’s ex-squad receive a cool €6m for their years of nurturing.

La Viola jumped infront of Russian side Rubin Kazan and Ukranian outfit Dynamo Kyiv, who both made a €8m offer, with the players blessing in their bargaining bag. The Partizan Belgrade midfielder, 19, was lined-up for a big-money move to Old Trafford last season. But the deal fell through when United boss Alex Ferguson decided against taking up the €10m option to buy him.

Clearly not enough to scare off Fiorentina ; “He is a quality player. It’s remeniscent of the signing of Jovetic – he has great potential.It was a very intelligent signing by director Pantaleo Corvino”

Srecko Katanec, former Sampdoria player and now United Arab Emirates coach, agrees with Prandelli ;

“I know Ljajic very well having seen him play as a child, and in my opinion he is not just a player that can make a difference even at this age, but is destined to become a world-class player, owing to his variety of shots, he is physically strong and exceptional. Bear in mind he is only 19,”

Corvino has a great average when hitting against Eastern pitchers ; Zdravko Kuzmanovic and Stefan Jovetic were his most recent Eastern pick ups.

However, in 2000, he signed some dude named Dimitar Berbatov only to see the deal fall through at the last moment. He still managed to bring in Valeri Bojinov (whom he discovered at the age of 14), and Mirko Vucinic in his time at Lecce.

Inspired by all this, Sampdoria have jumped on the Slavic bandwagon ; Goran Bregovic, a Gypsy Big Band and all the trimmings. Samp have captured Serbian youngster Stefan Scepovic from OFK Belgrade.

The striker known as Scepa arrives full of eastern promise on an loan deal, but Samp have the option to make it a permanent transfer at the end of season. Scepovic has been starring in the Serbian U21 a la Bosko Jankovic.

Livorno’s president Aldo Spinelli sucks at geography so he didn’t make it all the way East but did manage to snag 20 year old Jurgen Prustch from Sturm Garz, seemingly the next Austrian wonder kid that’s not Herman – The Terminator – Maier. I guess that makes him the next Engelbert Konig ?

Now how about a look at Hungary after the impressive recent displays of their U21 and U20 squads ?